After Beckett

Ten days after Beckett was born, I began feeling very unwell. I went to see a doctor, who immediately sent me to the emergency room. After undergoing a series of tests—including MRI, CT scans, and blood and urine analyses—I was diagnosed with sepsis. The cause was determined to be a retained piece of the placenta, which had triggered a severe infection. I required antibiotics and a D&C procedure to clear the infection.

​In dealing with the trauma of my near-death experience following the birth of my second son, the most vivid image that has remained with me is the IV in my arm. It was repeatedly moved, with the final insertion point being in the crook of my elbow. I couldn’t move my arm without the risk of the needle pinching, which caused intense pain and resulted in my right hand becoming swollen. As part of my healing journey, I am painting this memory as a way to acknowledge the experience and move forward.
I am incredibly grateful for EMDR therapy, which has been instrumental in helping me process this trauma and find light through the darkness.